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«  Thu.01.25.2001  »
12:09 pm EST        24°F (-4°C) in Dearborn
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I returned home Tuesday evening, after 12 days in exile. It looks like there is at least a chance that things might get better with my parents. I am in the process of writing them a letter, which currently stands at six printed pages and growing, detailing my feelings about the situations we've gone through in the past and continue to go through today. My hope is to build a better future with them. I sincerely hope they will be more accommodating on January 26 than they were on December 26; I think my 12 days of exile will help speed that process along.

I like the letter format because when I try to have a spoken conversation about these things, I always seem to come off to my folks as being rather demanding and threatening. That isn't my intent, but it's how my parents receive the message. I think that something written will give them time to reflect on my views — they can read the letter over and over — as opposed to a verbal conversation, in which they have to respond on the fly with little or no thought.

A few days ago, I think I finally came to the realization that is starting to lift me out of depression. I've felt for a long time that I've had to be the world's bitch to be happy — that is to say, I had to put out 100% of the effort in relationships to get nothing in return. I will not enter into any more relationships where I must be the bitch, ever. That's done — fuhgettaboutit, as mobsters like to say.

I am pressed for time as I write — I have some tasks I need to do in the next few hours — but before I end this update, I'd like to ask my readers (that's right, all 12 of you! ) to keep an old acquaintance of mine in your thoughts and prayers. You may remember Eric from some of my previous updates in this section. Whatever he might have done to me in the past is exactly that — in the past — and is irrelevant right now. He is going through a very difficult and painful period in his life, and needs your thoughts and support. I don't have any romantic feelings left for him, but I owe it to him out of basic human decency to ask you to keep him in your thoughts and prayers.