News and Notes

« Sat.03.13.1999 »

(Sung to the melody of "O Canada")
O Canada, the place where we had fun,
That Customs chick, she almost pulled her gun ...

Scott, Eric, and I hit Windsor last night. Needless to say, just getting into the country proved to be a real bitch.

"Your citizenship?"


"Purpose of your visit to Canada?"

As if I was going to tell them we were going to the casino, and then go get drunk or laid. We'd have been arrested on the spot if I'd let Eric keep talking. "We're visiting some friends in Windsor."

She wasn't entirely buying it. "Where?"

"Just off of Ouellette Street, close to downtown."

"How did you meet these friends?"

Fuck, I thought to myself, this bitch is gonna nail us. Thinking quickly, I replied, "By e-mail."

"And you're going to meet them for the first time?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Sighing, she asked, "Are you bringing anything into Canada?"


"Go ahead."

Scott, once we were out of the agent's earshot: "FUCK YOU, BITCH!"

That was the worst part. After losing a combined total of about $40 U.S. at the casino, we decided to hit a strip joint. We tried Studio 4, one of Windsor's best-known and classiest adult entertainment places. Unfortunately, the cover charge of $10 Canadian proved to be prohibitive considering our casino losses. However, when my future roommate Billy turns 19 in September, we will drag him over there and have one of the girls perform a "birthday dance" for him.

Most everything besides Studio 4 proved to be closed at 2:20 am, so we decided, "fuck this, let's hit the 'Vu," and left Canada. Some white trash from U-D in a shitty old car cut us off as we entered the tunnel, only because of Eric's U-M bumper sticker. Later, the U.S. customs agent wouldn't take Eric's word for it on my and Scott's American citizenship -- he asked us both to speak for ourselves -- but then waved us on.

The 'Vu being closed, we decided to cruise A2 "for shits and giggles," as I put it. Of course, everything here was closed too, much like Windsor two hours earlier. We then hit the Bursley game room, where Scott kicked ass in a pinball game. It was 6:05 am before I was in bed.

Going to tonight's hockey game against BGSU. We came back from a 2-1 deficit to win last night's Game 1, 3-2, as Bob Hayes and David Huntzicker scored the third-period goals for Blue.