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«  Thu.02.15.2001  »
1:37 am EST        32°F (0°C) in Dearborn
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Yeah, yeah, before my parents even say anything in the morning, I'm up way too late. I really don't care what they think of my sleep patterns — the fact is, I've always been up in plenty of time to get job applications and interviews in during my job search. So fucking what if I'm not up at 6:00 am like the rest of the family? Unless I get a job that starts by 8:00 am every day, I have no need to be awake that early. I can stay awake a couple hours later than everybody else at night, and out-sleep them by a couple hours in the morning. But, in so doing, I risk the constant cut-downs from my parents that have become the hallmark of my life here.

There have been a million things going through my mind in the last week or so — job hunting, trying to patch up relationships I stupidly put at risk last month, my credit rating going down the toilet while I have no money to pay bills, not to mention dealing with the emotional shit that comes from living in a non-functional family environment. (We're way beyond dysfunctional.) Oh yeah, I actually get a little bit of a life on the weekends, too — it's about the only time I can get out in what was supposed to be my car. (I can't say I'm completely locked in the house — my parents will allow me to drive their 1995 Ford Explorer, the real baby of the family, and 1999 Ford Taurus, my father's company car, on occasion — but I'm never allowed to use them for anything even remotely connected to a social life. "You can only do important, 'reality-based' things with those cars, Larry," my mother is fond of saying. To her, anything I do outside of job-hunting indicates that I'm not living in the real world. If anything, she's the one who's not living in the real world — if she was, she might realize that you don't begin work the same day you apply for a job.)

That parenthetical went on too long, but when I get on a rant like that one, I'm not going to stop. Yeah, God forbid that an Explorer, of all vehicles, goes out and gets dirty with a little snow — better that it sits in the garage most of the winter, right? E-mail me if you find any logic there. I've been searching for years.

Anyway, I'll have my car for only the second time all week on Friday night, when I go to my final regular-season game at Yost Ice Arena. The night after that, I'll be in attendance as Michigan takes on the Cows over at Joe Louis; we beat them there at the end of January. As every hockey fan knows, though, what happened in that game is all moooooooooooooooooooo-t. (Sorry, had to get another anti-State crack in there. )

On the job front, I now have not only one, but two virtual slam-dunks. Later today, I go in for a drug test and background check with another company; this is in addition to the one I took last Friday, about which I am still waiting to hear. I may soon be faced with a choice of where to work, a scenario I wouldn't have dreamed of a month ago. Then again, everything might all collapse in my face, but I don't want to consider that possibility.

I'd better get to bed — about seven hours' sleep awaits me.