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11:24 pm EST        46°F (8°C) in South Rockwood, MI

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Yes, you’re reading that temperature correctly. The last three days here have been exceedingly warm for early January, even to record levels yesterday as the mercury reached 63°F (17°C). I was out in short sleeves much of yesterday, as I took my car in to get some work done and did a little bit of shopping. It will cool off quite a bit in the latter part of this week, though at least the next two days are forecast to be warmer than normal with highs in the low 40s Fahrenheit (around 5°C).

In my last update, I said I would be back seeking advice on a dilemma that has been troubling me for the last couple of weeks. It’s nothing hugely serious, but it’s a situation in which I’m not quite sure how I best ought to proceed. It involves another man who lives in my apartment complex to whom I find myself quite attracted, and how I should go about handling it.

I’m going to call this man “Bryan,” although that is not his real name — nor is it even close. I first met him a few months ago, after one night where he had (apparently) inadvertently parked in my assigned carport here. As I usually do with people who steal my carport, I assumed good faith (that is, others not knowing that the space is paid for and assigned) and left him a polite note to that effect, asking him to avoid parking in my space again. I happened to see “Bryan” the following night, as I pulled in from work; he was sitting in his car for whatever reason, so I went over and talked to him for a minute. We introduced ourselves, and after that, he apologized for taking my spot the night before; I told him not to worry about it, that it wasn’t a big deal.

As you might have guessed, it was upon this first meeting that I was first struck by how hot “Bryan” is. If you really must know, he bears something of a resemblance to British porn star Darian Hawke (note: that link is safe for work or anywhere else), though Hawke is a bit taller, thinner, and more “gruff” looking than “Bryan.” I wouldn’t get a chance to “see” him again, in the sense of making eye contact, for quite some time, but after this initial meeting, I did manage to figure out which apartment unit he lives in by seeing him inside it through open window blinds — in other words, it wasn’t that hard to figure out.

I would later come to find out “Bryan’s” full first and last name, though I won’t say how that happened here in order to prevent any kind of possible trouble; let it suffice to say it was another case of “couldn’t miss it even if I tried.” From there, a simple Google search of the first and last name (and who hasn’t done that to themselves or somebody else before?) returned a profile that pretty clearly belonged to “Bryan” on a hobbyist web site. I won’t say how much I know, but that profile did reveal quite a bit of information about him; I will only let it be known that he listed himself as single and in his 30s.

Obviously, “Bryan” has no idea that I know as much about him as I do. I don’t think he even knows that I know which apartment unit he lives in, as I don’t think he’s ever really been looking outside at me when I’ve seen him inside. The only thing it can be safely assumed that he knows I know about him is which car is his, and where he parks it.

I would like to get a chance to talk to “Bryan” again, however that happens. I see a few possibilities for this: (1) I could leave a note on his car again, this time inviting him to have something of a “get to know you” type of conversation. (2) I could pretend to know only about his car, and ask the complex office to forward a note (sealed in an envelope, of course) to “the guy who has the carport next to mine.” (3) I could hold some kind of social event for complex residents in my unit, and hope he shows up; though I would be leery of a specific, targeted invitation to him, as that could come off kind of stalker-ish. (4) I could leave things entirely to chance and just wait until the next time I see him in or near his car, although for all I know, that could never happen again — we went two-plus months from the night in the carport until our next mutual eye contact.

I feel like once I can get him into a conversation, obviously waiting until after we’ve covered some of the basics like jobs, interests, etc., I can pretty well handle telling him that I have a strong physical attraction to him. I should mention that at present, I have absolutely no clue as to whether “Bryan” is straight, bisexual, gay, or prefers barnyard animals wink, though simple demographic statistics would suggest he has a 95% chance of being straight. (I usually go with a figure of about 5% of society being gay; Kinsey’s 10% figure is known to be high, but so-called “fundamentalist ‘Christians’” who claim less than 2% are lying, too. Why not split the difference, I figure.)

I will also say that from our roughly one-minute chat in the carport a while back, he didn’t really get my “gay-dar” pinging, so to speak. Of course, that tiny of an amount of time spent around somebody is woefully insufficient to really get a good gay-dar reading, one way or the other, I think. But in any event, I feel like I can handle the actual conversation pretty well, and I have various strategic outlines plotted out to cover most of his possible responses to my statements of attraction to him.

Where I am running into trouble, though, is figuring out how to get to this planned conversation with “Bryan” in the first place — how to communicate to him, in the right way, that I am interested in such a conversation. The last thing I want to do is come off like I’m stalking him, as there are possible legal repercussions for that; some might say I’ve already been “stalking” him, but last I checked, a simple Google search and seeing things I can’t help but see anyway don’t fit that definition.

One friend whose advice I’ve already sought suggested that option (2) from two paragraphs above would appear “too high-schoolish,” and I can’t say I would entirely disagree. I fear that option (1) comes off too stalker-ish, and I’ve already covered my feeling about option (3). All of that considered, though, option (4) leaves it entirely too much to chance for my liking, and isn’t exactly on the kind of time frame I would particularly prefer — that could be six months from now, or never, for all I know.

So, with all the background story finally told, I bring my dilemma to you, my loyal readers. What would you do in my situation? Do you see any other options besides (1) through (4) that I laid out a few paragraphs back? If not, which of those is the most optimal one, and which will avoid any kind of lingering hard feelings or resentment? (Not that kind of “hard” feelings, you perverts — get your minds out of the gutter. Remember, I’m pure and innocent. wink) I look forward to receiving your advice, via e-mail through this site or comments left on the mirrored version at LiveJournal.

I have to leave you for tonight, loyal readers, but never fear, for I’ll be back at my first reasonable opportunity with another edition of “open the mailbag.” The Christofascist terrorists are back at it again, suggesting that I’m somehow “confused,” “not happy about the way your [sic] being treated by your ‘lifestyle’,” and “degrad[ing myself],” so I’ll be exposing those total falsehoods and putting them to rest with my next update. Until then, rest easy with the knowledge that the message I received just further proves that it is actually “fundamentalist ‘Christians’” who are so disgusted with their lifestyle that they lash out at others.